May 29: In Stow at Judy’s for my rehab.

May 28: Yesterday was my first introduction as to how low I’ll be sinking into the depths of boredom during this rehab process, and how dead tired I could still get from the most menial of a workload. 

Got up around 7:30 AM, worked for a several hours at my job, did this brief blog, then even worked on my 98 Days book document, and hell, just 5 hrs had gone by. So there I was at noon, my ass, low back, and shoulders just crazy sore from either the seated or partially lying position on the couch, with my eyes and mind just totally spent from having been staring at the computer for so long. Judy had gone for a 3 hour bike ride, so I was all by my lonesome. I strolled around the house for a bit to loosen the back and shoulders up, then went outside onto the patio. Ok, so there’s another half hour. Got me thinking how bloody boring this was going to get as I felt better each day. I mean at least when I first came home from the hospital I could just sleep half the day away the. But today, what with not feeling like I was dead tired and sleepy, I was faced with either reading, doing more work on the computer, or watching TV. Didn’t want to do ANY of those things, especially waste my time in front of the boob tube. 

Now I could have gone for a walk, but I was saving myself for when Judy and I were going back to the house to see dad, Kim and Mike later in the afternoon. I figured I’d be doing a dog walk or something then, so I wanted to save my big energy burst for that. I’m getting to a point now where I’m about 2 wks post-surgery, with 4 more wks to go where I have to stay at zero torque on the upper body, that so my sternum can heal properly. I mean hell, will I be up to like 10-12 mile hikes within those four weeks? Going to have to be cuz this sitting around crap is just maddening. 

Anyway, we rolled over to my house around 2 PM. I gave dad a big hug and he just didn’t even get that I’d been gone for a month - let alone was 2 wks out of open heart surgery! He was like, “Hi son, is everything ok?” I mean to him, it didn’t register that I’d been gone. In his world I probably just came downstairs, and he couldn’t figure out why I’d just giving him this big “great to see you again dad” hug. Went upstairs to my room/office and went through a month’s worth of receivables and bills, then I tried to look for some ID stuff my sister needed for the reams of hospital bills and such that are just down the road. Probably spent 2 hours up there working and digging, and by the time I was done, I was just totally and unconditionally spent. Now I had gone up and down the stairs some 3-4 times, and I had helped Kim and Mike get the riding mower started so Mike could cut the lawn, so I’m sure that factored into the overall workload. 

But wow, felt like I’d just run a marathon. I mean I had to lay down on the bed and just crash for God’s sake. And I was spent for the rest of the night. Had zero energy for dinner, and I had to go to the living room to lay down after dinner because I was so tired. So that was the second thing I learned that day, and my sister warned me of it: there would be days where I would question having had the surgery because the amount of steps I’d be taking backwards would be massive in the beginning. Only after months rest and rehab she told me would I begin to take those steps forward to feel as though I was actually making progress past my pre-surgery state of fitness. Funny, because I’d felt so smug about being bored in the morning, thinking I was well on my way to getting over all this. Then all it took was me working at the desk for 2 hours and I was just devoid of energy for the rest of the day. 

I guess I’m going to have these ups and downs each day, and I got a harsh dose of reality that afternoon to prove such was indeed the case.